Weight issues and problems are very commonplace in our busy society with our hectic lives and the stresses and strains of everyday life can take their toll in lots of ways both physically and emotionally. We all know the impact of weight gain on our health and so I am not going to go down the common route of pointing out what we should and shouldn’t eat and how we should behave around food or our eating habits or pattern. There is so much conflicting advice about what is good for us and what isn’t and that knowledge constantly changes with the next new scientific findings or the latest fads (which can be downright dangerous) and it can be very confusing, sometimes that confusion stops people from even trying to do something about their weight.
Behaviours and attitudes
I would like to focus on the driving forces which underpin our behaviours and attitudes toward food, very often I am consulted by people who have developed an emotional connection with food. They eat when they are sad, they eat when they are happy, stressed, angry, bored, hurt, lonely or even maybe as a reward in some way. Sometimes people eat too much just because they have developed a habit of doing so. Having certainly fallen into that trap myself in the past I completely get how that can happen.
In my experience over many years of working with people who either yo, yo, diet or who are on a permanent diet there are some commonalities. There is usually a lack of self worth (sometimes self loathing), low self esteem, high social anxiety – the fear of being judged by others and an underlying body image issue. Put all of that together with low confidence and the tendency to have self doubt, low mood, depression and an impulsive or compulsive pattern of eating then you end up with a complex combination of negativity in relation to how powerful you feel in relation to losing weight. Eventually having tried every method under the sun to lose weight, maybe being quite succesful at times and then you put it all back on again and more, you may well then give up trying. One of the reasons for people giving up trying is the fear of failure because if you don’t try, you can’t possibly fail – job done!
An alternative view
One of the biggest mistakes people make in my opinion is to concentrate on the outside, ie their shape, size and weight, many people try desperately to ‘fix’ all of their problems by losing weight. That simply doesn’t happen, losing weight won’t make your partner fall back in love with you, won’t get you your dream job or fix your depression or change your unhelpful thinking styles. It may make you feel a little better about yourself for a while, however unless you address your psychological foundations which took you down that path in the first place, you are still going to be left with the core behaviours and attitudes you had in the beginning and therefore run the risk of going down that same path and falling back into old habits.
‘If you always do things in the same way then you can always expect the same result!’ Anon.
How about doing something really differently the next time you want to lose weight? What if you learned how to strengthen your psychological foundations so that you can stand firm in the face of adversity or bounce back really quickly, what if you learned how to raise your level of self esteem and keep it consistently good, what if you learned how to not be affected by what other people think of you, would that be a good thing? What if you felt completely in control, possibly for the first time in a very long time? What if you did lose weight without focussing on every morsel you put in your mouth, what if you did feel more motivated to exercise, what if you left all ideas of being on a diet behind completely? What if you naturally were able to make the right choices of food for you? Would this be a good thing? The Thrive Programme can help you learn how to completely change your behaviours, thinking styles, belief systems and attitude.
Please take a moment to read one of my more recent Thrive Programme client’s words below:
From Carol age 53, Liverpool
‘I originally contacted Pat as I wanted a quick fix to help me lose weight.
Having talked to her (attended sessions) over several weeks and worked through the Thrive programme workbook, I realised that 1 – the quick fix wouldn’t work, and 2 – that wasn’t what I needed.
I now realise that how I was reacting to certain people and situations was what I needed to address. Since working through the programme I have learned how to change my way of thinking and deal with these people and situations in a different way and not let them affect the way I act or think.
They may not be able to change the way they act/think but I can and have.
And, I have also lost just on a stone!’
So Carol now has her motivation and zest for life back, she is continuing to lose weight, not only does she completely understand what was driving her previous behaviours around food , she has changed her focus and direction. So having worked on herself from the inside out instead of the other way around, her outside is now taking shape in more ways than one. It is obvious to me from Carol’s words that she considers her weight loss last of all, the other benefits she got from going through the Thrive Programme far outweigh (no pun intended!) her previous weight issues and as a result she is losing weight naturally and easily.
In conclusion then, how about you taking a different perspective on your overriding desire for that ‘quick fix’ and consider getting in touch for a complementary chat and maybe a cuppa with me and see where we go from there? Pick up the phone today, text or email me 07984177527 or firstname.lastname@example.org