A heartfelt journey providing an insight in how to get over grief, anger, the fear of being judged and therefore judging others. Agnes Fitzgerald http://agnesfitzgerald.co.uk/
My life turned upside down back in 2008 with the death of the love of my life, Joe, Rest in Peace.
For 26yrs we worked and played together. Much of that time was in the Hospitality Industry. 8am on Tuesday morning Joe dropped dead by our front door on a stretcher as ambulance staff rushed him out. There he was – gone! He left behind 13 & 17yrs old sons.
The next few years were hell for me. How do you tell a 13yr why God has taken his Dad? If it weren’t for St. Mary’s College staff I don’t know what I would have done… 5yrs were devoted to getting our sons through school and info life. Thankfully the outcome is very successful.
When the boys were 18 & 22yrs I had to start thinking about me. Going into 2014, where am I heading? Indeed who am I? For another 2yrs, mainly unbeknown to me, I must have been one of the angriest people around.
In April 2016, thanks to the John Jelly Club, I met Pat Harland at a Support meeting where only Jan, Pat and I showed up. Conversation was more personal than business…. I had a moan. Jan and Pat smiled at each other. The outcome was Jan suggested I arrange a 1-1 with Pat. I did and was introduced to “Thrive”. This course of training is definitely one of the best courses I have ever done. I learned so much about myself it was scary at first.
Keeping it simple, 10 years of fear, anger, negativity, the unknown, lack of confidence and more had bottled up inside me. Being very private I FELT I had no one to talk to. No way would I admit any of, what I thought, were weaknesses. Indeed, I’m not really sure I was actually aware of most of these daemons locked inside me.
“Thrive” is absolutely amazing. I was delighted and appalled at the same time. The studies of the “Thrive Book” pointed out many of the reasons for my attitude. It clarified my thinking included “Black and White”. Well, I already know that and thought it was a good thing. You know where you stand with me! True enough – but there are more subtle ways to deliver that message. 🙁
Other thought processes came to light. Things like “The Negative Style”, “The Paranoid Style” and “The Catastrophic Style” – to my horror I qualified to some degree for ALL. Me! Negative! No way… but actually, when properly analysed with fresh, independent eyes and through “Thrive”, sadly I did qualify. I can only say I was shocked.
By completing the “Thrive” course I learned so much about myself. My timing was perfect. The boys are on their way through life’s journey and now I need to reinvent my own. With the lessons learned I’m blessed to know what I need to do to make the changes so badly needed in me. (I know that through “rumbles” within our Networking… lol)
To build a successful life, Pat Harland helped me put some action points in place. Top of the list is to divorce “Mr Judgment”… That took a lot more than just signing the divorce papers; however, I’m delighted to say I have done it. Just that one change has lead to a whole lot of other improvements in my life.
Other actions include:-
- Daily positive mind setting. This helps me focus.
- Review some of my “Thrive” notes when I feel the need
- If I’m totally stressed Pat is always around – thankfully, that has not happened…..
Thank you to Jan, John Jelly Club for introducing me to Pat Harland of “Thrive”
Pat, what a weight you have lifted off my shoulders…. A massive eye opener
Post written by Agnes Fitzgerald from Agnes Fitzgerald Marketing. April 2017