Does your lack of confidence affect your ability to do what you would like to do?
Does the thought of giving presentations, attempting something new or entering a new social experience send a shiver down your spine or make you break out into a sweat?
Confidence can be the most natural thing for some and some people have to learn how to be confident. Indeed other people spend their lives not feeling good enough or have little self worth, perhaps even believing that it is part of their natural make up or psychology.
If you believe that your level of confidence is down to external factors or influences eg other people, genetics or that your star sign, the astrological charts at the time of your birth then on some level that could potentially render you powerless to make a difference. This also means that you will be stuck in this mode unnecessarily.
Your own personal belief system is so critical when you want to make changes. Most people I know wouldn’t challenge their belief systems because they have not yet had the opportunity to learn how to do that.
So how do you challenge your belief systems?
Here are 10 tips for you.
1, Examine your thinking, is it helpful or unhelpful? – get used to recognising negative thoughts.
2, Look at ways of turning those thoughts into helpful ones eg change ‘I am never going to be able to do public speaking confidently’ to ‘I am rehearsing my presentation to gain confidence and turning the nervousness into excitement’.
3, Ask yourself each day ‘What kind of a day would I like to have today’ and set out to make that happen.
4, Write down at least 2 positive things about yourself every day, keep a record on your phone, tablet or notebook and make sure you understand why they are positive
5, Challenge yourself to tolerate uncomfortable experiences and learn from them. If you always avoid facing them you will never view them as being normal. They will therefore always be the scary thing in the corner.
6. Praise yourself more often even if it feels strange to do so. You would do that for others so why not yourself?
7, Accept compliments gracefully, avoid assuming that there is a hidden meaning and don’t be tempted to bat them away or that you have to return it.
8, Stand back from the issue or problem and evaluate it calmly from the right perspective. Looking for a solution rather than worrying or brooding about it helps resolve problems more effectively.
9, Avoid catastrophising (dramatising and blowing things out of proportion).
10, If you don’t know how to do all of this please, please ask for help , you can learn how to be more confident, how to get over anxiety and banish those negative thoughts in order to avoid brooding, worrying and increase your self worth or self esteem (how you feel about yourself).
Pat Harland, Thrive Consultant, Thrive Consultant Mentor www.thrivewithpat.com 07984177527